When neurodiversity first landed on our radar, it felt like a whole new language. Social media especially, can make it sound like everyone knows what words like “neurodivergent” mean, except you. I understood it roughly, but I didn’t feel confident I could explain it. So this is a simple, reassuring guide to what “neurodivergent” actually means, and who it includes.
TL;DR
Neurodivergent is a word used to describe people whose brains work differently from what society considers “typical”. It includes autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and more. It isn’t a diagnosis or a label you have to use — just a way of understanding difference without judgement.
This article is for / not for
This article is for you if:
- You’ve heard the word neurodivergent, but aren’t quite sure what it means
- Your child has been described as autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, or “a bit different”
- You want a calm, non-clinical explanation without labels being forced on you
This article is not for you if:
- You’re looking for a diagnosis or assessment advice
- You want medical or therapeutic recommendations
Important note: This article is not medical advice It doesn’t diagnose or replace professional assessment. If you’re concerned about your child’s development, learning, or wellbeing, recognised UK organisations and healthcare professionals are the right next step.
You may have come across the word neurodivergent used casually online, in school conversations, or by other parents — sometimes as if everyone already knows what it means. This section breaks it down clearly: what the word actually refers to, who it includes, and what it doesn’t mean.
What does “neurodivergent” actually mean?
At its simplest, neurodivergent means a brain that works differently from the majority.
The word comes from neurodiversity, which recognises that there isn’t just one “right” way for a brain to think, learn, focus, feel, or process the world.
Some brains are typical for society’s systems such as school, work, noise levels, and routines.
Others aren’t.
Those that find these situations harder are often described as neurodivergent.
It’s not a judgement.
It’s not a diagnosis.
And it doesn’t automatically mean something is “wrong”.
Who is included under neurodivergent?
Neurodivergent is an umbrella term. It can include people with:
- Autism
- ADHD
- Dyslexia
- Dyspraxia (DCD)
- Dyscalculia
- Tourette’s syndrome
- Some sensory processing differences
A person might have one neurodivergent profile, more than one, or a mix of traits that don’t fit neatly into a single category.
Many children don’t fit neatly into a single box — and that’s normal.
Is “neurodivergent” a medical term?
No — neurodivergent is not a medical or diagnostic term.
You won’t usually see it used in formal NHS reports, assessments, or diagnostic criteria. Instead, it’s a community-defined word, created and shaped by neurodivergent people themselves.
It exists alongside medical language, not as a replacement for it.
That’s why you’ll often see it used:
- In everyday conversation
- By families and educators
- In advocacy and support spaces
And less often in clinical paperwork.
A brief history of the word
The idea of neurodiversity was introduced in the late 1990s by Judy Singer, an autistic sociologist who wanted language that described neurological differences without framing them purely as deficits.
From that idea, the word neurodivergent emerged as a way to describe people whose brains diverge from what society treats as “typical”.
Importantly:
- It wasn’t created by clinicians
- It wasn’t designed as a diagnosis
- It grew through lived experience and shared understanding
That’s why its meaning can feel broader — and sometimes less rigid — than medical terms.
Why that matters for parents
Because it explains why:
- Different people use the word slightly differently
- Some families embrace it, others don’t
- You might hear it in school but not in a clinic
Using neurodivergent is optional.
Understanding it, though, can make conversations with schools, other parents, and even your own child feel clearer and less loaded.
Neurodivergent does not mean the same thing as a diagnosis
This is an important distinction.
A child can be neurodivergent without having a formal diagnosis.
And a family can use the word without committing to assessments or labels.
Some parents find the word helpful.
Others don’t.
Both are valid.
The term exists to explain difference — not to force identity.
How neurodivergence often shows up in children
Not as stereotypes. Not as extremes. Neurodivergence doesn’t usually look like the exaggerated versions people sometimes expect — for example, a child who is either completely non-verbal or unusually gifted in one narrow area, or someone who visibly “looks different” all the time.
In real life, it’s often much quieter than that.
It can show up as:
- A child who copes well at school but falls apart at home
- Someone who appears confident but is constantly masking
- A child who is bright and articulate yet struggles deeply with transitions, noise, or emotional regulation
- Deep focus on specific interests
For many families, the challenge isn’t spotting something obvious, it’s understanding why everyday things seem to take so much effort or time.
Often, a neurodivergent child can struggle with everyday things like:
- Finding school exhausting even when doing “well”
- Being very sensitive to noise, light, clothes, or food textures
- Struggling with transitions between tasks or sudden changes
- Emotional reactions that feel bigger than the situation
- Difficulty explaining what’s wrong
Many neurodivergent children mask these differences, especially at school.
From the outside, they can look “fine”.
What surprised me when I learned about neurodivergence
What surprised me most was realising that neurodivergence often shows up as effort, not failure.
Children are working twice as hard to cope.
Holding it together all day.
Then falling apart at home — where it’s safe.
That reframed a lot of behaviours from “why is this so hard?” to
“this has been hard all along”.
Neurodivergent is not a polite replacement for “disorder”
This matters.
The word neurodivergent isn’t about softening language or avoiding reality.
It’s about shifting perspective.
Instead of asking:
“What’s wrong with this child?”
It asks:
“What doesn’t fit around this child?”
That doesn’t remove challenges.
It just removes blame.
Why this word matters for parents
Because language shapes how we respond.
When we see behaviour as difference rather than defiance, support changes:
- Expectations become more flexible
- Support becomes more practical
- Shame reduces — for children and parents
You don’t need to adopt the term.
But understanding it can make day-to-day parenting feel less combative and more compassionate.
Just a little reassurance
If your child feels different, or parenting feels harder than expected, you haven’t failed, and neither have they.
Sometimes the missing piece isn’t effort.
It’s understanding.
And that can start with one word, making a little more sense.
If you’re new to the idea as a whole, our guide to Neurodiversity explained in simple terms and what it means for families gives a broader overview before zooming in on specific terms like this one.
If you’re looking for formal support
NHS – Autism assessment and diagnosis
NHS – ADAD assessment and diagnosis
